Scratch That

Nooooooooooooooooo

2011-05-21T08:56:00.000-04:00

Some stuff you never outgrow

2011-02-12T20:59:00.005-05:00

Ah, the ubiquitous

Disney Vacation. I met Pooh and Friends at Disney's Crystal Palace--very sweet.

My favorites are Tigger and Eeyore. As souvenir I bought a new Tigger mug. It has sparkles and T.T.F.N on it and stuff. I already own an Eeyore watch that plays, "You are my Sunshine".

Just because . . .

2011-01-25T13:38:00.004-05:00

So, have you been absolutely adorable and disruptive lately? Mahna Mahna . . . ; ) I dare you to try.

Found: Lost Pictures of New York Blizzard

2011-01-20T07:20:00.001-05:00

I'm a sucker/sap for this sort of thing, so I'm doing my part to help this video go viral. Can you help out this tenderhearted soul? He's looking for an artist/photographer. Maybe you know this person. It would be soooooo cool if you did.

Confession Time

2011-01-13T15:02:00.003-05:00

Would you no longer love me if I told you I looooooooove the movies Red Sonya and Starship Troopers? Both can test any healthy relationship. How about Dare Devil? Zardoz? Just making it known, airing my closet . . . : )

Famous Literary Watering Holes

2011-01-10T10:33:00.003-05:00

Like Liz Lemon often says, "I want to go to there." In this case theres.

Spooky Map

2011-01-07T07:21:00.007-05:00

Birds are falling from the sky. Care to know exactly where? Eschatologist-Orinthologists are having a field day with this.

Oh, and then there's the fish and the bats and the penguins . . .

Oh hell, I'll weigh in, too

2011-01-05T11:50:00.001-05:00

I love Mark Twain's Huckleberry Finn; it's a masterpiece written by a national treasure. To my way of thinking, editing out the word ni**er is not a good idea. Words possess power, even the unsavory ones. Future readers must understand/experience the South as it was, its leisurely lifestyle attained and supported through despicable means: slavery. That abhorrent word, when leveled at Jim either as a colloquial, demeaning moniker or hurled as the insult of all insults, is devastating. Once removed, the reader is robbed of its acid-like sting. The politically-correct censors might as well go ahead and remove the mighty Mississippi River while they're at it.

Gutted

2011-01-03T11:16:00.005-05:00

Upsetting news, actor Pete Postlethwaite has died. His picture graces my bulletin board. What a great face. He was--well, still is--the inspiration for one of my characters, a gutsy chap.

I'm experiencing the most curious grief.

2011-01-01T12:22:00.001-05:00

So Very Zuzu

2010-12-24T19:44:00.004-05:00

"Look, Daddy. Teacher says, every time a bell rings an angel gets its wings."

Here's wishing you a Merry Christmas and the most Wonderful Life. : -)

Spreading the Loathsome

2010-11-15T14:17:00.001-05:00

Check out Aaron Polson's latest!

2010-11-09T11:42:00.002-05:00

No Capes!

*Yes, creatively, I'm quite fried of late and wish I had a mentor like Edna Mode. That is all . . .

Off The Hook

2010-11-04T10:57:00.002-04:00

I always make it a point to read Laura Miller's posts. Here's why. I love you, girl. Maybe I should do something like this instead . . . maybe . . .

I'm Not a Journalist in Real Life, but I Play One on the Web

2010-10-30T20:36:00.003-04:00

Skeletal Remains Found In Safety Deposit Boxes

Evenson

2010-10-18T05:00:00.001-04:00

Horror aficionados, if you haven't read Brian Evenson's work, do so. His novel Last Days, whoa. Evenson explains his creative/literary take in the prologue of his short story collection, Altann's Tongue thusly:

A final word: You have been driving in the car, a man pointing a gun at you head, and now he has left the car and you are free. Everything around you has gone strange. You are no in the same world you were in before the gun bruised your temple. You have the suspicion that you are no longer yourself.

Now, now that you are free (if it really is you), the question is, How do you make sense of your life?

What Have I Been Up To?

2010-10-04T06:35:00.000-04:00

Hit it, Elvis!

Everyday I Write the Book

Don't tell me you don't know what love is
When you're old enough to know better
When you find strange hands in your sweater
When your dreamboat turns out to be a footnote
I'm a man with a mission in two or three editions

[Chorus:]
And I'm giving you a longing look
Everyday, everyday, everyday I write the book

Chapter One we didn't really get along
Chapter Two I think I fell in love with you
You said you'd stand by me in the middle of Chapter Three
But you were up to your old tricks in Chapters Four, Five and Six

[chorus]

The way you walk
The way you talk, and try to kiss me, and laugh
In four or five paragraphs
All your compliments and your cutting remarks
Are captured here in my quotation marks

[chorus]

Don't tell me you don't know the difference
Between a lover and a fighter
With my pen and my electric typewriter
Even in a perfect world where everyone was equal
I'd still own the film rights and be working on the sequel

Cute Now Cocky

2010-09-03T06:30:00.001-04:00

I couldn't resist a few more pics, being proud and all. I'll be back to writing topics next week, I promise. Have a fun and safe holiday weekend.

Making Spectacles of Themselves

2010-09-01T06:00:00.001-04:00

Yay!! My girls start school today! The glasses they're wearing aren't prescription by the way--just glam props. Both are nearsighted and have adorable legit pairs stashed somewhere. Go figure. How they make the honor roll I'll never know. ; )

Here's looking a you, kids, and another stellar school year.

Spreading the Strange

2010-08-11T16:38:00.006-04:00

My thanks to Alan over at Conversations From Land's Edge for bestowing upon me the Strange Men in Pinstripe Suits Blog Award. Yay! This is a lovely award to promote Cate Gardner's short-story collection of the same name due out October from Strange Publications.

If you're a strange critter, consider yourself awarded, too. Join us, join us . . . .

Up at Sillymess Ezine

2010-08-09T06:20:00.001-04:00

In "Defeat This"-a 400 word nonfiction piece--I explain my tenuous relationship with my Machiavellian coffee-bean grinder and why I couldn't make a living as a technical writer.

Flannery O'Connor (3/25/25-8/3/64)

2010-08-03T06:00:00.003-04:00

I greatly admire Flannery O'Connor. Her short story collection graces my desk. She was a brilliant, brilliant, brilliant writer. And sometimes I wish, oh how I wish . . .

Gracious Georgian, devout Roman Catholic, peafowl enthusiast, possessing a wry wit. She was diagnosed with lupus at the age of twenty-six; the disease took her life at the tender age of thirty-nine.

Consider reading "A Good Man is Hard to Find", "Good Country People" or "A View From the Wood". If these Southern Gothic stories don't impact you, well, your soul is in a sorry state.

A Little Green Monster Comes to Terms with Twilight

2010-07-30T06:00:00.000-04:00

Dear Stephenie,

Karma plays hardball. God shuns snark. My slate must be wiped clean.*

First off, let me begin by apologizing for inadvertently misspelling your name in my post, Oh, Stephanie.

Second, I wanted to also apologize for not supporting you while you're struggling with what seems to be writer's block. Look, I think your work is meh. You'd sure in hell shoot a likewise impression or worse right back at me .* I admit it. Although I'm not jealous of your talent, I am of your success. But no writer, knowing what a struggle it is to create a work, should kick another writer when they're down.

Third, I'd like to thank you for kicking my butt into gear. Get this, I'm writing a NOVEL. Can you believe it? Never thought I would, as evidenced here. Me, the last short-story writer hold out, EMBARKING on writing something over 3,ooo words. And I have you to thank because I figure--and this is in NO WAY is a backhanded compliment--if you can write lots, I can squeak out a modest few.

You achieved something monumental, Stephenie, and I wish you continued success. Appeasing fickle teenage girls is nothing short of a miracle.* Believe me, I know.

Most earnestly,

Fledgling Novelist

Rebecca Nazar

*What is it about a twilight spent on a secluded island that lacks all technology--like pictured here--that brings about a changes of heart and epiphanies? The Thoreau Effect, I suppose. And yes, those are my first novel-scratchings being jotted down.

*My oldest loves L.A. Meyer's Jacky Faber series. It's very popular around here. L.A. resides in Maine part of the year. There's YA magic in the name Meyer, obviously.

Two Metaphysical Thumbs Up

2010-07-24T16:55:00.004-04:00

I just saw Inception. Loved it! Ranks right up there with another all time favorite of mine, Dark City.

A good read I also recommend that deals with mind-viruses is this. You know what I meme?

Yet Another Immature T.G.I.F Post : P

2010-07-23T10:00:00.002-04:00

Have a great weekend!

I Write Like Them

2010-07-18T10:15:00.001-04:00

Check out I Write Like to find out which established/famous writer you write like. This article explains the site's origins. I picked five of my favorite published stories. Two genre came up H.P Lovecraft (very interesting, since I wrote one," The Black Ship", specifically for the H.P inspired site, Innsmouth Free Press. The other, get this, is a comical love story ). Two of my "literary" pieces were flagged David Foster Wallace, the fifth Margaret Attwood.

I've read Lovecraft and Atwood. I'll have to consume some Wallace now. I'm starting here, where he opines whether or not it's ethical to boil live lobsters. Me: Um, yummy, yes. Slowly melting butter is also ethical.

Interesting, huh? The site programer says his going to tweak the algorithm, adding a wider variety of authors and works, for more accurate results. I'd love to know who you write "like" and your impressions, if you're so inclined. ;-)

I Wonder as I Wonder

2010-07-09T07:40:00.000-04:00

If you haven't heard, Wonder Woman received a makeover. Many are upset.

Cracked.com weighed in with this pic. This guy is okay with it. Go figure--har.

Oh please, both outfits are horrible. And how in the hell does Wonder Woman fight with those LARGE--insert your favorite slang term for breasts here! How does ANY female superhero combat evil with such HUGE--insert second favorite slang term for breasts here?!

I'm looking forward to knowing your favorite terms. Being faithful to my clan, mine are pancakes and fried eggs.

Our Newest Addition

2010-07-07T06:10:00.002-04:00

My kitten, Oliver, kept begging and begging and begging for a new pet girl. I finally gave in. Her name is Ellie. She's fourteen, brown eyed, freckled and red haired. Her playtime habits are adorable. We sprung her from the pen yesterday. She'll need braces and a college education, of course. I'm still on the fence about whether or not to have her declawed. I've read adolescents can be prone to mood swings.

Shhhh, I've decided not to have her fixed. Don't tell Bob Barker or Betty White, okay?

Red Snappers and Making Whoopie

2010-07-02T06:30:00.001-04:00

Have a great July 4th weekend everyone! I hope you have a hearty barbecue in store.

Most likely I'll be consuming three Maine gastronomic institutions, Jordan's red--and I mean devilishly red--hots dogs, Moxie and whoopie pies.

Food snobs Mainers ain't. *burp*

Oh Stephanie

2010-06-25T11:25:00.005-04:00

My girls were crazy about Twilight and its yada, yada, yada sequels. I read 150 pages and the name Edward became a pejorative. Well, Stephanie Meyer is struggling. Let's all pray . . .

Mom, You're Embarrassing Me

2010-06-24T14:52:00.004-04:00

So I'm off to see Toy Story 3 here soon. Anyone seen it yet? I'm going to cry, aren't I? When Sarah McLachlan sang "When She Loved Me" in Toy Story 2, I tried to be stoic, but oh the sniffles that betrayed me. I was a total mess watching Up. Man, that movie is perfection. "I was hiding under your porch because I love you." --Doug, the best dog ever.

As a precautionary measure, so not to mortify my adolescent girls, I'm sitting by myself with a bag over my head, tissues in my lap and a restorative Dr. Pepper.

At least I'm not premenstrual, which would make me even more teary . . . . sorry, TMI? *big sigh*

Who Says We Can't Play Soccer . . . er . . . Football

2010-06-23T11:55:00.004-04:00

After 91 excruciating and frustrating minutes, all U. S. A soccer spectators FINALLY reached orgasm.

Lover boy, Donovan, THANK YOU! Thank you very much.

Alms for Cthulhu

2010-06-02T06:30:00.001-04:00

Innsmouth Free Press, an excellent ezine devoted to all things Lovecraftian, is asking for donations. Cthulhu, his most heinous highness, will be truly grateful.

Innsmouth has been great to me, accepting a number of my stories. Seriously think about giving them a shot all you Lovecraft-loving horror writers. : )

Babies, You've Come a Long Way

2010-05-26T06:14:00.004-04:00

OMG! Our babies. How did it happen? They grow up so fast.

Ah, the prom. None of these girls were 'asked out'. No matter. A few dozen went stag and danced in big circles without the chaps.

This was NOT done in my day. Now that we're moms we cheer our daughters on, "Go to prom anyway. Break with tradition. Why the hell not?!"

Ain't feminism grand? Baby steps, baby steps.

My Dragon Tale

2010-05-24T11:15:00.000-04:00

My comical short story, "Fig" is in the Sorcerous Signals May-July issue.

While on a fishing trip cousins Ben and Sam encounter a beautiful dragon that's vaguely familiar and extremely clever.

My thanks to Holly Eddy for such a great illustration.

Sloth Full!

2010-05-22T10:40:00.000-04:00

You MUST check out this sloth stuff. Okay, pretty please? : )

Recommendation

2010-05-20T11:15:00.000-04:00

I really liked Joe Hill's Horns.* I don't normally read horror. Well, this novel is and it isn't. I'm not much of a reviewer, so I'll leave it to these guys: NYT, Strange Horizons , Los Angeles Times.

Enjoy . . . I hope. : )

*For those who don't know, Hill is Stephen King's son. Talk about shoes to fill. I've also read Hill's short story collection 20th Century Ghosts (thumbs up) and Heart Shaped Box (thumbs down).

Coming to Roost

2010-05-17T06:00:00.005-04:00

It's the little things.

I'll admit each spring I worry. What if something doesn't come back? Three years ago my flower beds teemed, literally hummed, with honey bees: now not so much. I mean, what if bees . . . ?

I'm happy to report that all the creatures great and small have returned to my yard. There are the usual suspects: chickadees (our state's plucky feathered mascot) finches, nuthatches (the bird I'd be if given the choice) jays, grosbeaks, two types of woodpeckers, hummingbirds and others. Then there's what flies over my house: loons, ducks, geese, hawks and cranes. Ah, but the cardinals and orioles they're persnickety, somewhat rarer. Seems my place passes muster this year--a blessing.

I can't imagine how devastating it must be for those who live near the gulf to watch all their creatures great and small washing up on the beaches. The pictures kill me. BP=WTF?

My humble patch of Eden I never take for granted.

Go Sisters

2010-05-11T06:30:00.001-04:00

Jane Eyre is my favorite book. Like others have commented about this I'd also like to say--If only these dolls were real! Boomerang Book-Throwing Action! That's totally sick--as kids say today. Anne's expression is particularly fierce. Maybe because Agnes Grey isn't as widely known/read/studied as her sisters' books?

Monday Misc

2010-05-10T06:00:00.006-04:00

Hope all you moms out there had a great Mother's Day. I did, got lots of gardening swag and a cool X-Men t-shirt that my youngest is wearing to school today. Me proud? Naaaaaw.

My comical story "Dinah" made Allegory Magazine list of Honorable Mentions. Editor Ty Drago is kind enough to give a nod to those who almost made it. Makes licking my wounds far more palatable . . . because it's been rejected three more times since. Some stories take more licks than others. Hopefully it'll find a home soon; people are starting to mistake me for a cat. : P

Speaking of honorable mentions, my firstborn is now an official member of The National Honor Society. Great job, sweet pea. Me proud? Naaaaaaaw.

Oh, and I'm going to be Betty White when I grow up.

Have an 'Eleven' Weekend

2010-04-30T06:00:00.003-04:00

WIP Weds: Very Grave

2010-04-28T10:45:00.000-04:00

My sincerest thanks to all those who commented on my last post. A bit of purging on my part there, all truisms, but please know I'm a pragmatist not a malcontent.

True writers cannot not write.

That said, I will now sheepishly tell you my current WIP is paradoxically entitled "Very Grave". And yes, it will be an inspiring piece . . . I hope . . . yes, it will. So far, so good--writing suckiness at manageable levels. I wrote the first 1k in third-person omniscient until I got a feel for who should takeover/overtake the thing. Poppy it is, using third-person limited. It can be a tricky perspective and easy to fall out of--Oh, crap! I went omniscient there, hold on--I'll mutter after putting myself in the head of some other character I'm supposed to be only observing as protagonist. What other pastime allows for that sort of perfectly appropriate craziness?

Oh Great . . .

2010-04-16T13:12:00.003-04:00

Now I've got save up for an iPad AND an adorable Corgi.

My Future Post Topics: Getting Dumped and When Your Beloved Mentor Keeps Reenforcing the Adage "It just sucks." Ah well . . .

Howl: Dark Tales of the Feral and Infernal

2010-03-09T06:30:00.002-05:00

Is now available.

The TOC lists writers some may be familiar with: Debs Walker, Erin Cole, Jodi MacArthur, Cathy Buburuz, Angel Zapata and many others.

Listen to a savage sample.

"Oso Beso" is the most 'out there' piece I've written, so my sincerest thanks to Editor Mark Anthony Crittenden for his persistent nudges and eventual nod. : )

Oh, and he designed the cover and others for Morpheus Tales and Champagne Shivers. Check out his work.

DAR: The First Shot

2010-03-03T06:30:00.002-05:00

Having my full measure of reading fantasy, craving a book historical fiction in ilk, while perusing my local library's hearty selection, I stumbleth upon Kenneth Robert's Arundel, a tale of a lad's trials marching with General Benedict Arnold through the Maine wilderness toward Quebec.

Oh crap. It's a sign.

The book reminded me of a question I posed to myself long ago. How hard would it be to become a card-carrying member of the Daughters of the American Revolution? For you see, my ancestor, Captain Abner Wade, who served seven years in the Continental Army, eventually settled in Woolwich, Maine,* which is just a hop, skip and a jump from Arundel, Maine. Plus, I have a cousin who believes Abner may have marched with Arnold. I feel it's highly unlikely because I can't find any evidence that the Massachusetts Eighth had anything to do with that traitor's military blunder.*

So.

Given my passion for the Revolutionary War* and rumanging through dusty things, I shall finally embark to prove my pedigree to the DAR, hoping not to become bogged down . . . like Arnold . . . only in red tape.***

Now I need to shoot over to my parents house to get copies of their birth certificates. For your viewing pleasure School House Rock!

*Saying wool itch really fast is the correct way to pronounce it. Cute, huh?

*Of course I've only searched for a some total of an hour. Smug of me, huh?

*I have a huuuuuuge crush on George Washington. John Adams is a close second, my admiration established by watching the excellent HBO John Adams miniseries . Now maybe it's not so much Adams but Giamotti I lust for. I have an even huuuuger crush on him. Weird of me, huh?

*Oh and prove my cousin wrong.

*Plus, I need blog-post fodder. And novel fodder. How many assinine--save ice-boating--videos do I want to post, huh?

*You guys are sweet to endure my quirky.

Care to Take an Ice Boat Ride?

2010-02-23T06:00:00.000-05:00

My hubby jumped at the chance to take a ride on a friend's ice boat and recorded this video. The footage is amazing; it's almost like being there. Watching the ice will give you some sense of the changes in acceleration. At times the boat's speed hit fifty miles per hour. Hope you enjoy. : )

Writers, Forget What You Know . . .

2010-02-22T06:30:00.002-05:00

Maybe that's a bit much . . . Challenge your preconceived notions about the world of publishing.

Dean Weasley Smith takes aim, Killing The Sacred Cows of Publishing, sharing his thoughts on rewriting, speed, workshops, writing is hard, book as event and agents.

Considering freelancing? Check out Kristine Kathryn Rusch's Freelancer's Survival Guide.

Happy Birthday Chewbacca!*

2010-02-17T06:37:00.000-05:00

via videosift.com

*Maybe it is; maybe it isn't. I needed an excuse to post this.

Elitist Is Good

2010-02-15T10:00:00.001-05:00

I'm a fussy reader. Nothing wrong with that unless, like me, you're a complete clod picking out books. If I had a dime for every one I didn't finish . . .

Elitist Book Review is a boon. Steve and Nick's charming (yes, charming) reviews of Fantasy, Sci-Fi, Horror and Mystery novels are thorough, yet spoiler free. When I read their site's description--Just a couple guys who have much better taste in books than you--I squealed, "Oh thank god."

I read three books they like The Affinity Bridge, The Devil You Know and Patient Zero, and I enjoyed them all. Each had fabulous protagonists and plots, so there's my humble, cloddish two cents thrown in. Check out the brutal review of Dan Brown's The Lost Symbol for a giggle.

Three for three is a good ratio. Thanks, guys.

Pow! Right in the Kisser

2010-02-09T06:03:00.004-05:00

Alan at Conversations From Land's End found this bit of fun. So what will you come up with, using the Batman and Robin Comic Generator, hmmmmm? Mine, meh. I've had to brace myself for rather large orthodontist bills lately

Here's something appetizing to sink your teeth into. Super Hungry? Try a Tom Selleck Waterfall Sandwich, yummmm. : )

D-

2010-02-05T06:03:00.000-05:00

Whaaaaaa *head shake*?! I said/did when my doctor told me.

This is a Public Service Announcement, people.

You may have a Vitamin D deficiency, but be more or less asymptomatic like me. My diet is sound. I'm made of cheese. I feel great. Mood--upbeat/normal. Energy--hell, I workout four times a week. Blood Pressure--fine. Rickets--ah, no. Skin--I'm naturally pale as a ghost . . . . But I live way (but not way, way) north . . . Ohhhhhh, this is the biggy---As individuals age, they require a greater supply of Vit D to maintain their bone and muscle health. The same daily intake adequate at the age of 25 may be far less than needed at age 50.

Errrr, I'm 43. Anyway, the prescription vitamins (Whaaaaaa? 50,000 whatevers!) are a lovely shade of green. Woot! Mega latte consumption excuse. Feeling better than great will be a greater way to feel, I'm guessing.

Think about having yourself checked out, friends, and then revert to or remain 25.

I'm a Punk

2010-02-04T10:26:00.004-05:00

This is cropping up everywhere. Me game. I've written only one sci-fi short story, YA, with science so soft and sweet marshmallowish would be an appropriate description. So, I'm off to research this guy. Kinda cute, I have a soft (ha! marshmallowish) spot for nerds.

I am:

William Gibson

The chief instigator of the "cyberpunk" wave of the 1980s, his razzle-dazzle futuristic intrigues were, for a while, the most imitated work in science fiction.

Which science fiction writer are you?

Innsmouth Issue 3

2010-02-01T12:03:00.000-05:00

"The Black Ship" has set sail.

For Steampunk Lovers

2010-01-29T11:20:00.003-05:00

So sweet for a Valentine's Day gift or whatever.** I stumbled upon an artisan who crafts customized industrial heart pendants for $45. They may take awhile to craft so I thought I'd post this now. She writes:

Give me your preferences. List your likes and dislikes . . . Examples are: I like gears, but I don't want any wires, or I want Jacks, but I don't want any LED's. Etc, etc . . .

Check out her gallery.

*Guys could wear one on their keychain, I guess. My hubby is not a hopeless romantic, but still found this a nice idea.

*Oh, I love being married so long. I can have all the finesse of a bulldozer when I drop hints. No subtlety necessary now and no second guessing for him. Flat out I said, "Honey, get me this."

Like A Bad Penny

2010-01-27T17:00:00.000-05:00

I'm back.

I hope your 2010 got off to a good start. Mine did on all fronts--family fun, health, writing, etc. What I discovered during my hiatus was writing about my writing really throws off my writing so I'll rarely (if ever) write about my writing here.** Oh sure, I'll post interesting articles on writing on occasion such as this one. But for the most part I'm gonna have fun. Or as my favorite quote so deftly states:

I'm here to chew bubblegum and kick ass and I'm all out of bubble gum.*

Hope you'll stick with me. : )

*I'm looking forward to reading writer's blogs again, though.

*I'm working on a webpage.

*Like the good pacifist I am. No really, I'm a pacifist. But I'm scrappy.

Merry Christmas

2009-12-17T05:47:00.007-05:00

I have collected oodles of Christmas tree ornaments over the years. So many in fact that I have two large trees to handle them all. This holiday season and upcoming year I pray the good Lord pelts you with as many blessings as I have ornaments.

I'm off. Enjoy your vacations too.

WIP Weds: Whoa There, Big Fella

2009-12-09T07:56:00.001-05:00

"Feast for Famine" is a comical short story I'm trying to pull together for The Four Horsemen Anthology before the submission deadline of Dec 31st. Oh come on, how cool are these guys, huh? I can't resist.

A majority of authors shooting for this, I'm assuming, will write more solemn if not flat out horrific stuff. Conquest, War, Death, Famine are downers after all. Submitting something lighthearted may increase my chances of acceptance? Many editors, I'm assuming, like a well-rounded collection of stories.

Of course there is that old adage that admonishes it's never a good idea to assume.

Ever notice there are many adages about horses? No sense beating a dead one*, don't put a cart in front of one, don't look a gift one in the mouth and my grandmother's favorite "If wishes were horses then beggars would ride." I miss her. Maybe I'll put that one in the story.

The Town Drunk has folded, unfortunately. It was one of the few SF/F/H paying markets that accepted exclusively funny stuff. So that leaves Andromeda Spaceways Inflight Magazine. Any others?

*When things get horribly tedious (Like wall to wall coverage of Tiger Wood's mistress list. This media storm will never die down if he's got 365 that come forward) I've taken to saying: Oh please, there's no sense beating or I wish they'd stop beating (insert whatever) with a dead horse.

Go Boldly Go?

2009-12-07T17:20:00.001-05:00

I don't know how to feel about this whole Monarchs in Space program. Scientists are running experiments on butterflies to discover how the insect's wings and what not perform in mircogravity: um, awkward (YA story fodder, anyone?) The poor things might never recover--the butterflies, not the scientists, silly. It's not like there's a butterfly rehabilitation facility, or is there? If not, should I start a charitable organization for when they return? And what is all that floaty and sticky stuff? Food? Tiny wads of bubble gum? Insect graffiti? Frass? You get an A for the day if you know what frass is. I did not, so I learned something new today.

Two Dynamic Writers

2009-12-06T16:30:00.003-05:00

I met two dynamic Maine writers recently. Barbara Walsh is an award winning journalist currently contracted to write a creative-nonfiction/memoir August Gale:

Is a story about courage and redemption, pain and reconciliation, and a father and daughter’s [Barbara Walsh's] journey into two powerful storms. One odyssey ventures into a deadly Newfoundland hurricane and the lives of schooner fishermen, who relied on God and the wind to carry them home; the other into a squall stirred by a man with many secrets, a grandfather who remained a mystery until long after his death. Sixty-eight years after the hurricane claimed several of her ancestors, she searches for memories of the August gale and the grandfather who abandoned her dad as a young boy. [excerpted from the book proposal]

Barbara has been so gracious and supportive of my work.
Through her I met Mary Lee Coe Fowler who has taught English for years, most notably at Bates College and The University of Southern Maine. Her memoir is Full Fathom Five: A Daughter's Search
Mary Lee was lovely relating how she compiled the book and answering our questions at a reading I was fortunate to attend.
Mary Lee Coe Fowler was a posthumous child, born after her father, a submarine skipper in the Pacific, was lost at sea in 1943. Her mother quickly remarried into a difficult and troubled relationship, and Mary Lee's biological father was never mentioned. It was not until her mother died and Mary lee was a middle-aged adult that she set out to learn not only who her father was, but what happened to him and his crew, and why and also confront why she had shied away from asking these questions until it was nearly too late. [from book jacket]
I'm a lucky girl.

Running Down a Dream

2009-11-30T06:40:00.001-05:00

Would you care to know the crappiest thing I've done as a writer, to date?

My husband trained four months and on Oct 25th of this year he ran the Conway N.H. White Mountain Miler's Half-Marthon, finishing 101st out of 400 runners with a time of 1:47:20. He'd run 5ks a few times, but this was his first half-marathon and one of his bucket list aspirations.*

But guess what? I was not at the finish line to witness this impressive physical feat from a man who is forty-one, suffered a broken femur as a kid when he was struck by a car, and underwent knee surgery three years ago.

Where in the hell was I? I was in Conway, but in our car, wrestling with a draft for my short story "The Black Ship". You must have experienced this, right? You get in a groove and gasp then realize I've been writing how long?

So I lost all track of time and showed up 1o minutes too late--an eternity when seconds matter. I felt horrible. Really, really horrible. I apologized all day. He didn't care I missed his finish. In fact, he thought it was funny. For him it was enough I'd traveled the two-and-a-half hour road trip to reach Conway to be with him *ahem* in spirit. He understands that writing as many short stories before I die is tops on my bucket list.

What did I accomplish in the nearly two hours he was out there bustin' his hump? Sure I reworked what I had . . . and I added . . . don't know . . . maybe . . . almost . . . . a hundred words or so. I was walloped with a new and improved plot point that I jotted down as I plodded along, though. Does that count?

"The Black Ship" is my who-in-the-hell-do-you-think-you-are-writing-a-sequel-to H.P.- Lovecraft's-"The White Ship" short story. I posted about its evolution here--the whole Cthulhu dream thing. Innsmouth Free Press accepted the piece, thank God, a few days ago. Although having "The Black Ship" published does not let me off the hook, at least it's evidence that I wasn't screwing around for nothing . . . ultimately.

Hubby's proud of me. I'm proud of him.

So that day we were running down our individual dreams, but I stumbled big time. I hope you have souls in your life as cool as my husband . . . oh, and I highly recommend an alarm clock.

*Picture curtsey of our friends' son. This nice young man applied to Bates College. Let's all pray he's accepted; none, in my estimate, is more worthy.

Happy Thanksgiving

2009-11-24T06:30:00.000-05:00

Happy Thanksgiving! Safe travels and here's wishing you an enjoyable feast.

Have a great week Brits, Aussies and Canadians.

NaNo? I'll probably weigh in at 35, ooo words when all is said and done. As far as writing exercises go, I'm quite satisfied. Stuffed, in fact, with the knowledge that my first love will always be the short form and if and when I write another novel, I'll outline the heck out of it before I embark. Quelling my self-editing habit felt good too.

Two short story ideas tripped me up--in a good way--slowing my NaNo progress. Both are comical and will be submitted by the end of the month. It was about time I wrote a dragon tale. Mine is entitled "Fig". So here's hoping . . .

I'm on vacation. See ya in a spell.

A Sea Monster Attacked My Little Sister

2009-11-20T10:30:00.004-05:00

My little sister is a huge Jane Austen fan. Reading Sense and Sensibility and Pride and Prejudice each year means so much to her. Now, I'm a Bronte girl. We mock each other over it. I'll say Elizabeth is whiny, then she'll counter with Jane is mopey--on and on. Then we'll patch things up, laughing about how our husbands won't dig us up Heathcliff-like when we die---the callous bastards.

So you'd think I'd relish (being a big sister, fantasy-sometimes-horror writer, zombie-loving, constant wisea**) telling her about Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters and Pride, Prejudice and Zombies. I didn't. It's just so, so, so wrong defiling such great pieces of literature.

I knew she'd see them at Barnes and Noble and squeal WHAT!--justifiably so. At our age we don't care what people think, so she wouldn't be embarrassed. I just wanted to be the one to break it to her so we could be side by side at Barnes and Noble and squeal in unison.

You see, satire is the lowly wise-cracking fool who mocks an arrogant king who needs to be knocked down a few pegs, not some punk teepeeing the pantheon of the great literary gods for a buck.

Yay! I Almost Won . . .

2009-11-18T09:35:00.001-05:00

the errant parent Thanksgiving-themed Top Nine List contest! Runner-up feels pretty good. I hope you'll check my close-but-no-cigar entry and find my tips helpful.

*whimper, licks wound* One of the prizes was bourbon.

Next on my agenda is this survey: What do you think of my new background and its complimentary colors?

1. Cool!

2. Ummm, reminds me of a mural you'd see on a '70's tripped-out van, only stupider. Oh, by the way, thanks for the groovy yet made-me-feel-old-cultural reference.

3. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarg my retinas!

4. You're weird. I'm going to go write now.

Innsmouth Monster Byte

2009-11-10T13:15:00.001-05:00

Innsmouth Free Press posted my piece "Karaoke Machine Malfunction Renders Local Pub Patrons Deaf". Crafting a news story was a nice change of pace . I perused A Walking Tour of Innsmouth and assumed intrepid-reporter duty for a spell. Disturbing things occur in this charming town, folks. Between you and me, I sensed strange forces at work even though I reported the facts and only the facts. ;-)

NaNo: Sesame Street Homage

2009-11-10T06:30:00.001-05:00

Happy 40th B-Day, Sesame Street.* You're the best. I love this Kermit and Don Music bit. Tis fitting for NaNo, no?

*Thanks for bringing this to my attention, BT.

At That Precise Moment

2009-11-05T16:08:00.001-05:00

I can't believe I've never posted on this topic.

So, Bec, when did you know you were a writer? Well, I can relive the moment any time I want, thank you very much.

Romancing the Stone (a freebie on Netflix) premiered in 1984. I watched the beginning and 4 mins and 11 secs into the movie came my Epiphany: YES, I'LL DO EXACTLY THAT WHEN I GROW UP!

Then I laughed my ass off. Still do.

NaNo: The Odd Couple

2009-11-04T08:18:00.000-05:00

Yup, I got Oscar in the morn, Felix at night.*

So, my novel's working title is What A Little Moonlight Can Do.* It's a romantic comedy with fantasy thrown in, of course. I'll confess I'm having a real hard time writing slobly* or Oscar-like. I force myself not to edit as I go. It's the primary reason I'm participating-- to break my exhausting habit of self-editing.

I'll also confess that once I achieve my daily self-imposed word count of 1,700 each morn, I return to other WIPs at night and resume my Felix-like ways.

Some habits take time to break. I can't go cold turkey. Weaning, slowly weaning . . .

*For any spring chickens out there, Oscar and Felix are characters from the movie The Odd Couple, staring Jack Lemmon and Walter Matthau. It's about two men that live together. Oscar is a slob, the other, Felix, a perfectionist. It's hysterical, especially Felix's allergy fits.

*It's the title a song I think is cute and whimsical.

*When you're a writing slob you get to make up words. Shakespeare was a huge slob.

Peter Straub Interview

2009-10-31T07:47:00.004-04:00

This is perfect for Halloween, horror writer Peter Straub's thoughts on how to scare readers. Having never read the man's work, I can't recommend him. I very rarely read horror, but this article enticed me to give him a try.

What A Little Sport Can Do

2009-10-30T06:20:00.001-04:00

Oh NaNoWriMo* is a comin'. Before this furious writing storm hits, I'm going to enjoy myself tonight at a Portland Pirates hockey game. Ahhh, invigorating fun. Check out nine-year-old Jr. Portland Pirate Oliver Wahlstom's amazing shot. The goalie's reaction is priceless. Have a great hat-trick-or-treat weekend.

*If you would like to buddy me . :-)

WIP Weds: chirp, chirp

2009-10-28T06:35:00.003-04:00

Have you ever hootenannied at a masquerade ball and everyone died, victims of a horrible host who plagued all with disease*, and for some freaky reason you survived, clawed yourself out of the mass of cooling bodies --*deep breath*-- because there's this word you kept hearing that inexplicably drew you to it (you recalled some friends uttered it in the past, but you had no idea what they were referring to--*deep breath*--you smiled and nodded so not to look the uninformed idiot) so you crawled home to do a Wiki search, but it's a word that has consonant clusters that are odd, so it took awhile to uncover it until finally !success! That's the word: Cthulhu!

Anyone else experienced that? . . . *chirp, chirp* . . . no?. . . *chirp, chirp* . . . not even a little bit? . . . *titter* . . . just kidding.

Anyway, I read H.P. Lovecraft's "The Call of Cthulhu". Eh, it was okay.* If I understand correctly, Cthulhu Mythos is derived from this story and others. Many horror writers have built upon or derived inspiration from its theme of this evil god that resides within the depths of the earth just waiting to be unleashed and force all of humanity to watch reality-tv 24/7.* If you hear the call of Cthulhu, better pack for the loony bin.

Willing to give H.P. a second chance after so much Cthulhu hype*, I read more of his work, stumbling upon "The White Ship" and "What the Moon Brings" and "The Outsider" which I loooooooved-- "The White Ship" so much so I wrote a sequel to it.* Pity me, my Cthulhu search made me cocky and deluded.

Look, I'm not a horror writer, okay? Yeah . . .well . . . I'm not . . . got that? . . . *chirp*

*Poe things.

*Ummm, bigot much, H.P?

*I made that up. That scenario would be truly horrific for me.

*Don't get me wrong. I find the whole thing fascinating but shrine, tattoo, or stuff my personal library with it-- ah, no. I do lurk at Innsmouth Free Press thrice weekly. Good stuff.

*Poor "Ubiguitous Ink" always the bridesmaid, never the bride. Someday I'll commit and submit it.

Editing is a Bit**

2009-10-23T11:13:00.001-04:00

As a writer I so identify with this dog. I edit my drafts this way kinda. Wrestling with them--should I, shouldn't I omit this?--my own worst enemy. My current WIP, big woofs. A total id vs. superego smackdown. Silly, silly me. :-)

Set In My Ways

2009-10-19T11:15:00.001-04:00

I've changed my background as you can see. My father-in-law took this photo of a bog not far from his home. New England in fall, especially Maine, is the best place to be in the entire universe. So that makes my state waaaay better than your state or country or galaxy or alternate universe.* :-P

I hope you'll prove me wrong at some point and in-our-face-you-crazy-Maine-iac me by posting pictures of your beloved areas. I don't get out much. ;-)

Gearing up for NaNo, thinking about my draft. Only thing that's set is the setting. The coast. I can't believe I've written this long but never about my stomping grounds. Move over, King . . heh, heh.

*Oh, please, please, please one of you be a space alien.

WIP Weds: Switching Gears

2009-10-07T10:15:00.000-04:00

I received word last night that my story--well, more of a recipe--was accepted by the editor of A Moron's Survival Guide to the Inevitable Zombocalypse Anthology. I couldn't resist submitting something. Seduced again by the ludicrous. First bacon, now morons. I have a weak spot for both, you see, and zombies: don't get me started. I've now placed/published/will have published a trifecta of funny tales with the undead as subject.

Ahhhh, when I give my Noble Prize for Literature speech I'll reflect tenderly on the zombie- phase of my writing journey.

It's hard to switch "writer's tone" and "voice" gears without grinding them. Gonzo to gloomy ain't easy.

"Ubiquitous Ink", my somber tale, simmers. It will be completed by the end of this month come hell or high water . . . hear that muse!? . . . muse? . . . so if I disappear for awhile, mates, it's because I'll be covered in ink.

New Story at Lorelei Signal

2009-10-05T10:45:00.001-04:00

Shameless self-promotion time. My fantasy, romantic comedy story, "When Opposites Attack" is now posted at Lorelei Signal. Holly Eddy's illustration is wonderful. I couldn't be happier. Yes, yes, that ending. But hey, a writer has got to use it at least once.

Dear Santa,

2009-09-30T11:18:00.002-04:00

Yes, I've been more or less a good girl this year. Suffice it to say, I wasn't caught doing anything I'm ashamed of.* I'm putting my order in early. Denied a Cabbage Patch Kid in the mid '80's and a Tickle Me Elmo in the mid '90's, this gift will so make it up to me.

I want a Project Runway Tim Gunn Talking Bobblehead Doll. This thingy will be a boon to me as a writer. If feeling down tailoring a tale, I'll find comfort in this dapper facsimile's straight-shooting words: "Talk to me", "Make It Work" and "Carry On". It's a must have this holiday season, a fashionable accessory to complement my Elements of Style.

You're the best.

Love,

Bec

*Yes, yes, ending a sentence with "of " is a no-no, but you know I'm a grammatical slob sometimes.

A Round of Bacon on Me!

2009-09-28T07:00:00.001-04:00

My comical short story "Bits of Oscar"* will appear within the pages of The Baconology Anthology and watching Miss Piggy perform is a great way to celebrate this acceptance. Me gusta!

*The plot surrounds an overweight hick named Oscar, plucky Girl Scout Beryl, and a benevolent container of bacon bits turned into a carnivorous, wise-cracking, zombie-virus-carrying swarm by a mad scientist; but, ultimately, it's a heart-warming tale about responsible parenting.

WIP Mon: Ink, Pillar, Misc

2009-09-21T12:31:00.004-04:00

Okay, Wednesday is gonna be insanerer (yes, two ers) than today. Soooooo, jumping the gun here.

I'm working on "Ubiquitous Ink", currently at 3,000 words. Not bad. Third-person omniscient is a pain *groan*. Ultimately, I'm happy with the results but grinding out the narrative . . . I'm a piss-poor goddess, I guess. "Ubiquitous Ink" is about a clan of side show freaks. I love the characters in this one, especially Old Black Pepper, a reformed hellhound. Is it healthy to have favorites? His name is a challenge to work with, very cumbersome.

The Pillar is a gothic novella I'm writing in--yay!--first-person. I'm outlining it, something I've never done before. I refuse to become stumped, stuck, slumped, or lost. I'm a "wing it" writer, uncovering just about everything as I go, hence I'm often stumped, stuck, slumped, or lost. Again, the outline is roughly 2,000 words.

Are one-hundred calorie snack packs the biggest hoax of the century? I just end up eating three instead . . .

My oldest daughter (She's a Junior. How in the hell did that happen?) scored a hat trick in five minutes--woot, new school record! And her braces are finally off. Big smiley week for her.

L.R. Bonehill wrote this tender post, paying homage to the 70's, pinning about the Bermuda Triangle and Barry Manilow; naturally, being the cold soul I am, I ribbed him about it.* So to make amends, may I humbly suggest you head over Pandora Internet Radio, as I did, and add Manilow as one of your personal stations. Do you need background music when you write? If you're not familiar with freebie Pandora, it can be a vital writer's tool. When your mood changes, just switch the music on a whim.

Have a great week.

*Neil Diamond is the better songwriter. Don't believe me? You try writing a song as poignant as "I Am". Oh, and you must use the word chair in a verse too. Plus, the '80's were totally awesome, dude.

WIP Wednesday

2009-09-16T06:20:00.001-04:00

I made my goal for the week by finishing a comical and surreal short story, "Bits of Oscar" finely tailored for the Baconology Anthology. I'll submit after it's fine-toothed combed by a friend. The piece tops out at 2,500 words, brevity being the soul of wit and all. Why write a story for an anthology that requires bacon be the protagonist, you ask? Like Mallory said--"Because it's there".

Enough ridiculous WIPs for a spell. I going for something sublime over the next few months. Speaking of sublime, check out The Literary Lab's current contest Genre Wars. If you submit, may the force be with you.

Hmmmm, small post, must pad. Now for your bemusement another WIP--a wet, idiosyncratic pet. Enjoy. Have a great week.

Perfectly Candid

2009-09-09T06:30:00.000-04:00

Let the insanity of soccer season and life in general commence. Go Black Bears! Yes, less time for writing and posting. I'm going to hang in there, making myself accountable each WIP Wednesday at least, which is a great idea--thank you, the responsible soul who started it. Tidying up my writing nook this week too: installing new computer programs, chucking files, culling drafts, organizing my books, etc.

To be perfectly candid, I'm behind. *ahem* It's not the smoothest of segues, but . . .

Here are my girls standing on Maine's highest peak, Mt. Katahdin. It's one of my favorite candid photos of them. Sure, you can't see their faces, yet the picture represents vigilance, strength, promise, stewardship, and there's a little superhero in all of us to me.

Catcha next week after I've attained my second wind.

My Sincerest Thanks

2009-09-05T07:00:00.002-04:00

Let's see, I've been blogging for close to six months. In this short time I've met and corresponded with some great people--you! I wanted to take this opportunity to say thanks for stopping by, regularly commenting, passing on awards, and writing such thoughtful posts on your own blogs. Writing, for the most part, is a craft that requires lots of time alone, so it's nice to take a break and touch base with others who understand the joys and frustrations of creating a story.

I've written horror in the past. Every now and then an intriguing anthology premise teases me back, but I don't foresee myself writing dark tales predominately or long term. Ironically, it was the genre that broke me in as a writer and for that I'm thankful. I've encountered some great and talented horror writers, future award winners I'm confident. Their impressive work peppers cyberspace and competitive print publications. And they visit me! I'd like to recognize and thank--listed in alphabetical order--L.R Bonehill, Alan Davidson, Catherine Gardener, Jeremy Kelly, Bill Napier, Aaron Polson and Brenton Tomlinson.

I've had the good fortune of falling in with some gracious writers whose paths run in the genres of young adult fiction, chick lit, literary, Christian romance, and historical. Again in alphabetical order: T. Anne, Lady Eurphoria Deathwatch, Jody Helund, Angie Ledbetter, Davin Malasarn, Melissa Marsh, Rene Miller-Knudsen, Sharla Scroggs , Janna Qualman, and a delightful recent acquaintance Eileen Astels Watson.

Those who follow, yet choose not to comment, my thanks to you also. But don't be shy . . .

Oh, and another thing, no one who sees me in the flesh calls me Rebecca. I use it to be all formal and professional for writing purposes like most. Refer to me however you'd like--hell, nicknames can be fun and/or ghastly--but most people get my attention simply with Becca, Bec or Put That Down Before You Hurt Yourself.

Okay all, onward and upward. :-)

Care to Share A Sentence?

2009-09-04T15:00:00.000-04:00

Sharla over at A little salty pointed out this bit of fun.

* Grab the book nearest to you.
* Turn to page 56.
* Find the fifth sentence.
* Post the sentence with instructions on your blog.
* Post link to Storytime with Tonya and Friends.
* Don't dig for your favorite book, the coolest, the most intellectual. Use the closest.

Or, if you prefer, just place the sentence in comments here.

"There have been far too many magicians too idle or ignorant to pursue a proper course of study, who instead bent all their energies upon acquiring a fairy-servant--and when they had got such a servant they depended upon him to complete all their business for them."--Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell by Susanna Clarke.

Love Ya, Girls, but . . .

2009-09-03T06:00:00.001-04:00

Tickled Pink

2009-09-01T15:20:00.000-04:00

L. R Bonehill has graciously bestowed upon me the One Lovely Blog Award. Thanks, mate. He's a self-deprecating soul, so go check out his story, "In the Garden", and pre-order a copy of Fifty-Two Stitches too. Good stuff.

I will now pass on this award to the good folks at The Literary Lab. More good stuff from David Malasarn, Lady Glamis, and Scott Bailey.

A Side of Francis Bacon

2009-09-01T06:00:00.001-04:00

At lunchtime yesterday (taking a break from a humorous story for The Baconology Anthology I'm drafting that I don't think will pan out, for trying to pull off a swarm of nipping bacon bits is no easy task, but eh, it's good imaginative exercise) I googled bacon. Francis Bacon, a figurative painter, came up.

Although his thoughts captivated my interest, some of his work made me lose my appetite. Curious to know how the horrific Painting 1946 here came about? He talks about it briefly in the beginning of part four of this interview. Fascinating is a gross understatement. It's a curious thing; I've started a piece also and had it go in a different direction--never to his extreme, though.

Any thoughts writers, in particular you horror writers?

A Collaboration

2009-08-31T06:00:00.002-04:00

So I approached this fledgling illustrator I know, who looks a little bit like me around the eyes, and asked her to draw a freakish character--the cutie you see here.

This then gave me inspiration for a Museum of Freaks character I named Fortunette, a fortuneteller with large, toadstool ears. Her short biography can be read at Sideshow Fables.

Collaboration is cool, man, especially with someone who looks a little bit like me around the eyes.

Extra Crispy?

2009-08-26T06:00:00.000-04:00

http://libraryofthelivingdead.lefora.com/2009/07/08/baconology-the-new-baconhorror-anthology-from-libr/page1/

Okay, for a wise-a** writer, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity, no?

Every time I try to leave horror it sucks me back in. Stupid horror . . .

Let's Hope My Lawn Isn't Radio Active

2009-08-24T06:00:00.001-04:00

For the third year in a row I've been attacked by hornets. I was stung three times while I was mowing the lawn on Saturday. Last year was the worst with a dozen or so times and five the prior summer. Good thing my property isn't radio active or flanks a toxic waste dump . . . that I'm aware of. If it is or does, Hornet Woman will be a baddie because this is sooooo annoying me. You wouldn't like me when I'm annoyed . . . I sooooo hate wearing tights.

My Hubby Made A Deadman

2009-08-20T21:00:00.001-04:00

Well, a deadman has entered my living room renovation picture, you see. It's the tall thingy leaning against the wall by the door; my hubby, Matt, made it. The sheetrock on the ceiling needed to be replaced and the deadman lent us a hand, so to speak. I used it to prop up, then hold in place, one end of the sheetrock while Matt, on a step ladder, managed the other, all while screwing the whole sheet to the ceiling.

At least that was the plan.

I told him I didn't trust the deadman before we commenced. Being a superstitious soul, I felt the ghoulish moniker was begging for trouble. Although inanimate, the deadman was indeed shifty, for despite my due diligence, he shifted the sheetrock, almost knocking Matt off the ladder. They were not aimed at me, but the barrage of f-bombs that Matt loosed. . . . *ahem* To lighten the mood, I considered making a dark-humored joke about what a comical menage a trois this situation made but thought better of it. After nearly twenty years of marriage you learn it's all about timing and tone.

Anyhoo, Matt called our brother-in-law to assist him with the rest, which made the task go much smoother, and my dark-humored joke became even more ribald when I felt it safe enough to point out what a comical menage a trois the three of them made.

Please feel free to use this for a story idea.

Kreativ

2009-08-19T07:30:00.002-04:00

The lovely Sharla Scroggs was kind enough to bestow upon me the Kreativ Blogger Award. Sharla has a great sense of humor. I always enjoy reading her posts, especially when she reflects upon her writing and motherhood.

And now I get to spread the love by handing out this award to seven impressive, creative ladies who brighten up my day when they post:

The rules:

1. Thank the person who awarded you and link to them.

2. Display logo.

3. Nominate seven worthy souls, link to them, and inform them they've been awarded.

4. Reveal seven things about yourself.

Seven things you may not know about me . . .

1. I looooooooove hockey.

2. I have a small gap between my teeth, but I'm not lascivious . . . thanks, Chaucer.

3. I rarely purchase clothing adorned with skulls. I'd buy lots if my girls would allow it.

4. I would have Paul Giamatti's love child . . . okay, I'm a touch lascivious.

5. If I like a TV show it's bound to be cut short. Examples: Arrested Development, Farscape, Dead Wood . . .

6. I'm blind as a bat. -6.50 is my perscription. Beat that.

7. It's not a matter of if I'll get more tattoos, it's only a matter of when.

Thanks again, Sharla. :-)

Stuffing the Now

2009-08-17T11:30:00.001-04:00

With age I've mellowed. On a 1 to 10 scale of fretfulness I've dropped to a low of thirteen from a high of eighty-two. I've embraced Hey, ain't no changing the past. I may not have a future. All I have is now, so I'll stuff it with as much as I can.

Being in nature reinforces such clarity. I went kayaking a few days ago, the perfect excursion: great company, lovely weather, smooth water, no bugs, lots of wild life to spy, and a sandwich as long as my forearm for lunch. The lake I'm bobbing on in this picture has many tiny islands filled with blueberry bushes in season and only accessible via small boat. A sublime, sublime, sublime time . . . and yet.

Often while haunting my favorite places I'm swamped with story ideas and reflections about my writing. Hey, I can't change the fact that I've written more dreck than the publishable in the past. In the future I'll write more dreck than the publishable. That's okay. Chances are any ideas that pop into my head right now stand a seventy-percent chance of panning out drecky. Ummm, it's fruitless to raise the fret level. That's not a bad ratio, really. Hey! It's time to eat my 1,500 calorie sandwich, for unhinging my mandible to stuff such mass will put me squarely in "the now".

Good thing nature is so damn beautiful is all I'm saying. So, what are your favorite inspiration inducing sites? Have an in-the-now sandwich that you enjoy? ;-)

Star Struck?

2009-08-11T06:00:00.000-04:00

I've never crossed paths with a celebrity.

The new G. I. Joe movie is out. The character of Scarlet is played by native Mainer, Rachel Nichols. My hubby has met her and works with her mom on occasion. Yes, Rachel is just as beautiful in person, really tall, very skinny and utterly charming, he informs me. Oh, and she's a Columbia grad, so what's not to love and envy?

How about you? Ever run into a celeb, or know someone who knows what's his or her name who was in such in such movie or band or whatever?

Rumor has it Alan Alda vacations in the Belgrade Lakes region. Here's hoping . . . I'd probably only gape.

Pucker Up, Readers

2009-08-09T09:57:00.006-04:00

Catherine Gardener's novella The Sour Aftertaste of Olive Lemon is now available for purchase . Ms. Gardener is a very talented writer with a unique voice. I'm looking forward to this read.

Fifty-Two Stitches

2009-08-09T07:00:00.000-04:00

My flash fiction piece, "Feeding Frenzy" is up at Fifty-Two Stitches. And yes, the intensity of reality television, extreme sports, and competitive eating often freaks me out.

Drenched by Moon

2009-08-04T16:30:00.002-04:00

Color me happy. "Stole N' Shadows", my-comical-fantasy-with-a-plethora-of-cats-inspired-somewhat-by-Ibsen's-A Doll's House-short story was accepted by Moon Drenched Fables for the December issue.

Awhile back I starting writing more literary stuff because I love to, obviously. But, and just as importantly, because crafting comedy tales drives me nuts with the un-writing more than writing--*deep breath*--fewer markets that want humorous work, and funny is sooooo subjective, and what if it won't sell, so maybe it's time to move on?

Well, now I've placed all my light-hearted stuff. Miserable process, yet very rewarding outcome-ha! My funny bone mocks me. Oh sure, this jester can juggle two genres. *Wipes cream pie from face*. Can't cha just smell the paradox?

New Issue of Scifaikuest

2009-08-03T06:00:00.004-04:00

A poem I wrote is in the current issue of Scifaikuest and available for purchase. Yay! I even made the cover.

I enjoy haiku, SF, and I'm often a wiseass, so I gave it a shot. If you'd like to submit--there are a number of forms to choose from--check out the guidelines.

These Pictures Meme Something

2009-07-29T06:45:00.004-04:00

Meme time!

1) Post ten pictures on your hard drive you feel are self-expressive. Further instructions at K.V. Taylor's. I have only six.

Otterly Fun

2009-07-28T06:00:00.000-04:00

Yes, I otter be writing instead of surfing the web, stumbling upon awwwwwwwwwww inducing critter pictures.

*Quick, think of a relevant writing question, Bec.*

So, have any of you written a story with critters, whether cute or vile? Me, a chimera named Rocky in "The One Big Catch" and General Arturo, a mutated cockroach in "The Someday Uprising". Fun stuff, playing god, crafting creatures, one of the perks of writing, don't you think?

Before

2009-07-26T16:54:00.011-04:00

I'm renovating my living room. If you're anything like me, and for your sake I hope you're not, you liken home improvement to a pregnancy: a long arduous process that inevitably yields something you'll love forever.

For example, I'd like to paint this room a dark blue; problem is, I can't find the right shade. Sherwin William's Downpour comes close, but since I'm a superstitious soul I think that's just begging for trouble, right? Anyway, isn't choosing a paint color kinda/sorta like picking a name for your child? A name can make or break a kid on a playground.

Also, I've picked out my couch and the fabric moniker is Shelly Camel--ahhhhh, lovely. It repels all evil, interwoven with kryptonite fibers. But yikes, this couch costs more than the Blue Book value of my car! Given this sticker shock I've amended my will, instructing I shall be buried in the thing, just tuck me in it as if it were a hot dog roll.

Crap, my comparison falls apart at this point . . . I'm gonna go suckle a decorative pillow soaked in cheap Pinot Grigio and pray this labor is short.

First and Last Sentence Magazine

2009-07-24T20:04:00.004-04:00

What a novel idea, Editor Edward Simon, and thanks for this opportunity. The first and last sentence of my 99.9% unwritten novel--I do have a skeletal outline rattling around in my noggin, though--is posted at First and Last Sentence Magazine. I must confess to feeling bemused given I'm a most reluctant novelist. Maybe I'll write this thing after all. The title Spectral Tide isn't quite right, but it will do for now.

Becca's Matinee

2009-07-20T15:00:00.006-04:00

Well, everyone is doing this soooo . . .

1. Name a movie you've seen more than ten times.

A Christmas Story. Ain't Christmas without it.

2. Name a movie you've seen in a theatre multiple times.

Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon.

3. Name an actor that would make you more inclined to see a movie.

Yes, I'm cheating here. Paul Giamatti, Eric Bana, Will Smith. *All three in one movie, oh please, dear sweet Jesus.*

4. Name an actor that would make you less inclined to see a movie.

Adam Sandler

5. Name a movie you can and do quote from.

Monty Python movies, especially The Life of Brian. " . . . we found this spoon."

6. Name a movie you know all the lyrics to all the songs.

The Sound of Music. Doesn't everyone?

7. Name a movie you've been know to sing along with.

All of them. That's the whole point.

8. Name a movie you would recommend everyone see.

I feel all US citizens should watch at least one Frank Capra movie other than It's a Wonderful Life before they die. My favorites are It Happened One Night and Mr. Deeds Goes to Town.

9. Name a movie you own.

I have quite a few Martial Arts movies.

10. Name an actor who launched their entertainment career in another medium but who has surprise you.

Queen Latifah

11. Have you ever seen a movie at a drive-in? If so, what?

101 Dalmatians. I was, what, six-years old? Cruella was a ga-zillion stories high . . . I don't know what the hell my parents were thinking . . . a character builder, I guess.

12. Name the movie you keep meaning to see.

Reservoir Dogs

13. Ever walked out of a movie?

Came close with Eyes Wide Shut. Cruise cannot act and even Stanley couldn't coax it out of him.

14. Name a movie that made you cry in the theatre.

Oh lots. On Golden Pond was the worst-- "you old poop!"

15. What was the last movie you saw in a theatre?

Night at the Museum II

16. What's the first movie you recall seeing in a theatre?

Herbie the Love Bug

17. What's you preferred genre of movie?

Romantic Comedy. And they don't make them like they used to--fa!

18. What movie do you wish you'd never seen?

He's Just Not That Into You. Whiny-cynical-self-absorbed much?

19. What's the weirdest movie you've ever enjoyed.

Zardoz

20. What's the funniest movie you've ever seen?

I'm right back where I started with A Christmas Story . . . " you'll shoot your eye out, kid, ho, ho, ho."